Unity in diet diversity

Mealtimes at retired Air Force officer Veena Venkat's home in New Delhi reflect a United Nations-style diversity and individuality. Breakfasts for the family of six range from toast and eggs on order to paratha and millet porridge to a special mixed-rice gruel for her mother-in-law. Her in-laws need simple, digestible meals, but they often crave an indulgent dish, which must fit in with their sugar levels or blood pressure. The college- and school-going daughters have different tastes, and she herself tries to avoid cereals and milk. No surprise, then, that the one ingredient required in huge quantities in this kitchen is forbearance.

Digital content consultant Malini Badoni's household of four in Mumbai is as eclectic. Her husband prefers a minimum-carb diet. Their teenage son likes chicken, while the daughter prefers vegetarian dishes. So, breakfast ranges from millet parathas and eggs for the children to eggs, oats and fruit for her husband. "I am the overlapping part of this Venn diagram: my breakfast is paratha, eggs and fruit," says Badoni with a grin. The same range follows up to dinner.

Dietary diversity within families has become the norm as a result of two major trends: the modern family's consideration for individual likes and dislikes (as contrasted by the older generation's mindset of everyone eating the same meal, no questions asked, no tantrums allowed), and an increasing awareness that each individual has different dietary requirements based on age, goals and food intolerances. A family that eats together sure stays together, but they don't always have to eat the same things.

Adding to these outlooks is a building body of research underlining that each individual is different, and a precision diet based on the person's genetic make-up, gut biome and metabolic response to different foods can make people lead healthy lives (bit.ly/individual-diet). "Our lives are controlled by our (gut) bacteria and our genes," says Sudeep Khanna, consultant gastroenterologist at Indraprastha Apollo Hospitals, Delhi.

Catering to individual requirements, even within a nuclear family, can be arduous and often thankless. It can also push up food bills and increase food wastage. What, then, are the ways of navigating around dietary diversity at the family meal?

Celebrity chef Sanjeev Kapoor's mantra for negotiating diverse demands at the dining table is: "Keep it simple". There is no need for complicated meal plans, he argues. "Instead, the trick is in finding the lowest common denominator and building upwards on it," Kapoor says. He gives the example of his family. "My mother is diabetic, so if we make carrot halwa at home, we take out her portion before sweetening the dish. The garnishing can be kept separate, too, to be topped as per each one's desire," he says.

Mumbai-based nutritionist Preeti Sethna says that even specialised diets can be brought down to common meeting points. Her son has a gluten allergy, while her husband has diabetes. "So, we have switched entirely to millets, which works for both of them," she says. Sethna, a zoology graduate, began looking at food seriously after the birth of her son, who had special dietary requirements. As she studied more about foods that are best for people with gluten and lactose intolerance, she realised that it wasn't just her son who needed special dietary attention. Even other members required individual dietary intervention. Further, she saw that many requirements could be woven into a basic diet that worked well for all.

Sethna went back to school and qualified as a nutritionist. Her focus is on children with special needs, though she also sees clients dealing with allergies, menopause, and those with ailments such as Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD) who need special diets.

Reverting to traditional food items such as jaggery and unpolished rice has worked for her family. Her father has diabetes, and her mother is on a CKD diet. "They have found common ground with the millet roti and rice as common food. The same vegetable is selected, but it is cooked differently," she says.

Finding common ground, however, is not easy. Badoni has developed a system which, even if it doesn't please everyone every day, at least ensures that there is something happy to look forward to. "By rotation, everyone gets a personal favourite over the week," she says. If it is pasta one night, there is Chinese the next day. If someone doesn't like a particular dish, they are encouraged to have it anyway. "Otherwise, they can fix something for themselves, like scrambled eggs," she says.

While Badoni's house rules are not to overindulge anyone and to ensure each member learns to adjust to the food served at home, when it comes to eating out, there is only one rule: indulge yourself, which everyone does, catering to their tastes. "Since no one at home apart from me likes fish, it is rarely cooked. The dinner out is when I indulge in seafood."

Rajeena Shahin, a Bengaluru-based physician associated with several organisations focusing on lifestyle medicine and nutrition, advocates phytoproteins — found in plants, bacteria and fungi. However, in her own household, while she and her daughter are vegan, her husband prefers his proteins in the form of meat. "While we try to have common meals mostly, we do a treat day, mostly mid-week," she says. For the husband, this means the much-awaited non-vegetarian fare.

Zurich-based entrepreneur Aruna Raheja, on the other hand, prides herself in serving a separate, plated meal for every member of her family. "It started because I felt that as a home-based parent, I should be able to give everyone what they want," she says. "Over the years, I have become such an expert that it comes naturally to me." Her husband is a pescatarian — he eats fish, but no meats — and follows a maintenance diet that keeps his blood pressure in check. She follows a weight-loss diet. Her 23-year-old daughter is lactose intolerant, while her college-going son does not like intense flavours or spices.

"Planning and prepping are very important aspects in running a good kitchen," she says. Making a meal plan for two days in a row helps her shop for provisions accordingly. But the ace up her sleeve is something she learnt by living overseas: freezing. "People feel that frozen food loses its nutrients, but if it is flash frozen when it is absolutely fresh and without preservatives, there is not much loss. It is anyway better than stale leftovers or market-bought processed stuff," she says.

When there is a glut of fruits such as strawberries or vegetables like pumpkins, she arranges them into bite-sized pieces on a plate, covers the plate with cling film and pops it into the deep freeze. "Once it is frozen, I remove the plate, take the individual pieces and put them into a Ziploc bag. This way, when I want that item, I can remove a few pieces for thawing." If the chopped pieces are put into the bag without being frozen, they clump up, and the whole batch has to be thawed to remove even a few pieces. This is how she freezes meatballs, vadas, little balls of masala and other prepping items.

"Ask for spaghetti and meatballs; all I have to do is boil the pasta. Sometimes, even the tomato gravy is frozen ahead. Sometimes, I make the gravy by popping one ball of the frozen condiments into the sauce and thawing some meatballs," she says. For dahi vada, she thaws a few pieces and dunks them into a bowl of yoghurt, topped with spices.

From pav bhaji to dal makhani, there is always something for everyone stacked in the freezer. "Usually, when I cook a special dish, I make an extra batch. I put these into special food-grade plastic bags after cooling. Then I flatten these bags so that there is no air inside, and I Ziploc them. These packages can be neatly stacked even in a standard-sized deep freeze," she says. "I do not make anything in such quantities that they cannot be consumed within the next fortnight."

Raheja believes in investing in good kitchen appliances and cookware, which reduce drudgery. This is also a pro tip that Manish Sharma, Executive Chef of The Oberoi, New Delhi, has taken home from his restaurant kitchens. Appliances such as a microwave oven, a rice cooker, a food processor and an air fryer speed up the cooking and prepping process. "Good planning reduces food waste," he says.

Sharma's household, like most modern families, is diet-diverse, and their food requirements and likings vary. He and his mother have different levels of diabetes; his wife is a gym enthusiast, and they have two daughters, ten years apart. "We prepare two doughs, one from a low-GI flour like emmer wheat and green jackfruit flour for my mother and myself, and a regular dough for the others. We make enough to last us two or three days," he says. The vegetables may vary: sometimes, one dish appeals to all, and sometimes, there is an extra vegetable. His wife tops her protein requirement with a side of paneer.

His refrigerator always has nutrition-packed condiments such as coriander-gooseberry chutney (rich in iron and vitamin C) or a green moong-dal batter for pancakes. Sharma says that the prepping is done by whoever is available in the family, so the burden doesn't fall on one person.

Venkat's planning is complex; while the vegetables procured may be common for all, their preparation varies. She tackles meals one by one, getting individual breakfasts and tiffins ready. A bouquet of flavours wafts out from her kitchen in the course of the day. The pungent smells of a Tamil Nadu rasam variety could be followed by a North Indian rajma-basmati rice-ghee flavour; the aroma of the curry leaf and mustard tempering in the curd rice may blend with the lemon grass of a Thai curry or the peppery waft of chicken soup. As a cancer survivor and awareness activist, she is particular about the sourcing of food: her oils are cold-pressed and vegetables come from government-run outlets.

In most diet-diverse families, family members often prepare some of their own special foods when there is a craving or when the fare on the table is just not appetising enough. Bread, eggs, shredded chicken, chutneys, spreads and boiled potatoes are everyday items in their refrigerators, as they help in dishing up a quick fix, be it a sandwich or bhelpuri.

"My household has been this varied since the beginning. I don't take it as a burden since it has never felt like one," says Venkat, who also finds the time and energy to try out new recipes. Her latest is peanut milk, which she also sets into a flavourful curd, but only in small portions, as there are no takers for this, apart from herself.

"I am fortunate to have house help, but the kitchen runs this way even without the help," she says. But do the systems run as well when she isn't around? "For a day or so, yes. Then they all succumb to the ease and temptation of ordering in," she chuckles.

Ordering in? Now, that can trigger a heated discussion in most diet-diverse families. Korma or pizza? Appam stew or chhole bhature? Will they find a common ground here, or will they all order separate meals?

See also:

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